Elevators… nuff said

Long rides on an elevator can be incredibly boring. We understnad this and have developed ways of overcoming this incredulous boredom.

  1. Get a vote from the entire elevator about some completely pointless issue. Say “omigod, did you hear that?’ and look completely panicked while not uttering a single intelligible word.
  2. Sit in the corner and meditate. “ohm”
  3. Pck up the emergency phone and try to order pizza. Run like hell while the security guards try to find you to kick you out. (This can be applied to all)
  4. Wear an earphone with the cord inside your jacket, carry a walkie-talkie. Once inside the elewator, stop it and say. ” Williams FBI, I need to see some ID. Look at everybody’s Id restart the elevator ant talk into your walkie-talkie saying , “Its ok he’s not on this one. But we think he did manage to find bullets for his gun.”
  5. Say to an older lady “My you’ve got nice hair.” Pull out a pair of scissors and look suggestively at her.
  6. IN a foreign accent say “you are very beautiful.” to a young girl. Pull out some money and say “How much to purchase you?” Indian accents work well for this, like the guy on Short Circuit.
  7. Do all of these things with a friend, while both of you are wearing trench coats and dark glasses.
  8. When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn’t you.
  9. Call the Psychic Hotline and ask if they know what floor you’re on.
  10. Hold the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, “Hi Greg. How’s your day been?”
  11. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream,”That’s mine!”
  12. Play the lying down game.
  13. Walk around in small circles, staring up at the lights and humming along to the elevator music.
  14. Fall over when the elevator stops.
  15. Walk in with a guide dog and wearing sun glasses, ask someone to press your floor’s button then take out your phone and start texting.
  16. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: “I’ve got new socks on!”
  17. Pretnd to be a moth and keep jumping at the lights.
  18. Blow your nose and offer to shop the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
  19. Crack open your briefcase or purse and while peering inside ask “got enough air in there?”
  20. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

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